The Bold and the Beautiful: Day One

Once upon a time, there was a great man named William J. Bell.  He worked with the Mother of Soaps, Irna Phillips, on shows such as As the World Turns and The Guiding Light.  Later he co-created Another World and was an early head writer on Days of our Lives, where he created the stories that would become the staple of every soap:  love triangles, questions about paternity, amnesiac characters coming back from the dead, rogues turned romantic heroes, and young heroines who relentlessly pursue love, romance, and acceptance, though not always in that order.   Prior to leaving his post at Days, Bell created The Young and the Restless, which would become the gold standard of soaps by the time it reached its fifteenth birthday.  As a counterpart to the social climbing and corporate intrigue of Genoa City, he created The Bold and the Beautiful, intended to be a glamorous behind-the-scenes look at the fashion world of Los Angeles.  The vast majority of daytime soaps are created to take place within fictional environs; why be constrained by the geography and culture of a real city when you can make one from scratch?  Your town can have rich folks, poor folks, exiled royalty, vampires, and everyone in between.  It can have the beach and the mountains; you can have brutal winters as well as summer heatwaves.  But instead of the constraint of the real City of Angels, B&B evolved to become an imaginary version of a city of millions, where the same two or three families marry within each other an endless number of times.  In the beginning, however, the show was actually quite pedestrian.  The primary focus was on the fashion house Forrester Creations, run successfully by Eric and Stephanie Forrester, alongside their two sons, Ridge and Thorne.  Their two daughters, Kristen and Felicia, would show up later.  Also on the scene were widowed publishing tycoon Bill Spencer and his daughter, Caroline.  Across town living much more humbly were Beth Logan and her passel of children:  Storm (Stephen, Jr.), Brooke, Donna, and Katie.  Beth was a college classmate of Eric and Stephanie, though this fact wouldn’t be revealed for several episodes.  Brooke had a long-term boyfriend named Dave who was a cop, while Storm was in law school and the younger two remained in high school.  Returning across town, Ridge was the typical spoiled playboy who wanted to have his cake and eat it too—he was dating Caroline and wanted to get more serious, but she had opted to save herself for marriage.

The episode opens backstage at a Forrester fashion show, where Ridge is unhappy with the designs his father is peddling this season.  He tells the long-suffering Thorne (second-best son in the family, now and forever) that the designs just aren’t sexy enough.  While observing Eric discuss something with his assistant, Margo Lynley (Lauren Koslow between Y&R and DAYS), he also speculates on whether or not they have ever been intimate.  It’s probably none of your business, Rigid.  Thorne figures Ridge is just angling to replace their father as president of Forrester Creations.  Ridge leaves to go call up Caroline, who tells him that they can meet that night, as her father won’t be home.  Scandalous!

On the dark side of town, Katie Logan is fretting over her acne and slipping into fantasies that her dream man will see only her and not her skin condition.  Brooke runs home after having escaped an attack by the Campus Rapist.  Not to make light of rape, but this is one of the few times Brooke will ever turn down a man’s advances.  Katie wants to help but Brooke kind of ignores her, as people are wont to do to Katie in her original incarnation.  Brooke’s boyfriend Dave arrives, having heard over dispatch of the incident.  She gives him a rundown of what happened:  two men in a blue van tried to abduct her, but she apparently fought them off and they gave up.  Dave tries to reassure her that the perpetrators will be caught, and that not all men are so malicious.  That’s it for the Logan family in this episode.  Fast forward twenty-plus years and they would take over the show, for better or worse.

Back at Forrester, the fashion show has completed and Ridge confronts his father over the designs.  Eric tells his arrogant son that he has no understanding in regard the psychology of the women who buy their clothes.  Ridge is informed that Bill Spencer is waiting for him in his office, and the conversation the two have is not pleasant:  Bill lets Ridge know that he wants the charming playboy to end the relationship with his daughter before she gets hurt.  Ridge scoffs and Bill leaves, cane in hand.  I have no idea what happened to Bill’s cane, or why he needed it in the first place.

The final scene of the episode finds Ridge at Bill Spencer’s palatial apartment.  He tells Caroline that her father annoys him like no man ever has.  They start kissing and she pushes him away, vowing that the man she marries is the only one who will ever get in her cookie jar.  So Ridge proposes and she accepts.  End of episode, but certainly not the end of the story.

It’s interesting to note, given the importance of both Stephanie and her portrayer, Susan Flannery, in the history of soapdom, that neither appears until episode two.  For me, she carried the show on her back the entire time she was on, and since her departure it has barely been worth watching.  At the beginning, though, there was no real indication of what was to come.  B&B was very humdrum and in need of some kind of shakeup.  Thankfully Bill Bell wasn’t one to rest on his laurels, and within a few years he had jettisoned every Logan save for Brooke, while creating the unsinkable Sally Spectra, played to the hilt by the late Darlene Conley, to rival the Forresters in the fashion business, if only in her head.  By the mid-nineties, Margo and the Spencers would disappear from the show, too.  While Spectra may have never been able to seriously challenge Forrester Creations, the introductions of her family and work crew (Macy, Saul, and Darla) as well as Clarke Garrison helped create the fashion wars and high drama for which B&B would come to be beloved around the world.  In 1990 he created one of the show’s most popular characters, Dr. Taylor Hayes, played by the beautiful Hunter Tylo.  That was definitely my favorite era of the show, when Ridge and Taylor were a couple and the storylines actually concerned fashion as well as family drama.  No American daytime drama has ever attained the same level of worldwide popularity, though that has slipped in recent years as the show continues to tread the same ground endlessly:  love triangles that never seem to conclude but roil endlessly in a pool of tepid drama.  Brad Bell has taken his father’s creation and both of their years of hard work and flushed it down the drain in a concerted effort to make it The Brooke Show.  Critics may be wowed by his ability to spin a yarn in this era of declining interest and slashed budgets, but for me The Old and the Pitiful is a more apt description these days.

For any fans who might be interested, the first sixteen episodes are available from Amazon.com as a MOD set.  The volume is rather flat, but I have had no problems with playback or picture quality.  I also own two import sets from Australia:  a best-of set that covers the years 1987-2007, as well as a Best of Weddings set that covers 1987 to 2009.  The latter is my favorite of the two, as classic soap weddings were always filled with romance and high drama.

All images are the copyright of Bell-Philip Dramatic Serial Corporation and CBS

 

Christmas in Bay City

It may seem hard to believe now, but in its heyday Another World was the crown jewel of NBC’s daytime lineup.  For decades viewers tuned in to watch the trials and tribulations of the Frames, Matthews, Hudsons, and of course the Corys—generations of viewers followed the story of Rachel Davis Cory, and the many romantic entanglements, marriages, and children that punctuated her life.  The daytime drama ran for thirty-five years and more than 8800 episodes, until NBC, in its infinite lack of wisdom, decided to pull the plug.

Picture it:  Bay City, December 25, 1991.  Frankie Frame is wrapping Christmas presents when her cousin Dean bounds downstairs, off to visit his girlfriend Jenna.  “Merry Christmas, Mary Frances,” she mutters while wrapping presents.  There isn’t much holiday spirit in the house, though—Frankie became estranged from her beau, Cass Winthrop, when his presumed dead wife, Kathleen, returned to town, only to leave again when she realized Cass had found someone better suited for him.  They became further estranged after the death of her Aunt Sharlene left a void in the lives of John Hudson and his young son, Gregory, and thus Frankie and John grew closer when she stepped in as a surrogate mother.  All hope is not lost, though.  Cass is moping at the office when his friend, Felicia, swoops in as only she can and conscripts him to play Santa for a group of orphans.  He tries to protest, but she reminds him that he has a Santa suit in his attic.  A-ha!  If he agrees to stand in as Santa—and of course he does, because Felicia is his best friend and he could never ignore such a noble cause—it means he will have to come face-to-face with his lady love.  It works out for the best, because everything should on Soap Opera Christmas.  They find the suit, she puts some blush on his cheeks to give him a rosier complexion, and he recruits her to be Santa’s helper in handing out children’s gifts.  Afterward they return home and reminisce, leading to some spontaneous decorating (for Dean’s sake, they try to convince themselves) and finally a Christmas kiss, no mistletoe required.

Meanwhile across town, the Cory house is filling up quickly.  Ada and Rachel are there, naturally, as well as Rachel’s children Jamie Frame and Amanda.  Amanda’s husband Sam Fowler and their daughter Alli are there, as well as Hannah, who works as an underling for Iris.  Paulina, recently separated from everyone’s favorite scoundrel Jake McKinnon, isn’t much for celebrating either, and spends much of the episode hiding in either her room or the study.  Rachel’s son, Matt, has gone to visit Lorna, with whom he works at the record label he cofounded with Dean.  He invites his new love to dinner, much to Rachel’s chagrin.  At the same time, Liz Matthews has called and Rachel invites her to dinner, too; this creates discomfort as she is bringing her niece, Olivia, with whom Sam had an affair while he wasn’t with Amanda.  Olivia is now pregnant, and claiming Sam is the daddy, while the truth of the matter is that Olivia is carrying the child of Dennis Wheeler, the son of Iris.  Of course Dennis shows up to spend Christmas with his mother; he and Olivia pretend to be mere acquaintances rather than former lovers.  Iris has brought Spencer Harrison as her date, while Rachel invited the DA Kevin Anderson, who had an indictment pending against Spencer.  Adding to the tension-filled atmosphere, Paulina attempts to contact Spencer’s son Grant, with whom she was briefly involved.  Spencer tells her to move on, because his son already has.  Dinner occurs off-screen, presumably because they would need a table the length of Brooklyn to seat everyone.  At some point, Vicky Hudson shows up and offers to be a surrogate for ex-husband Jamie and barren twin sister Marley (who is too upset to appear at the Cory home); these scenes attempt to play up the tension between Vicky and Paulina, who would both love and lose Jake more than once, but unless you were a regular viewer of the show, the scene falls a bit flat.  The Vicky-Jamie -Marley-Jake-Paulina pentagon is further complicated by the fact that—shh!—Paulina was hiding the fact that she had shot Jake, which left him comatose.  The list of suspects was both long and justified; Jake broke hearts everywhere he went.

Elsewhere Dean has arrived at the home of Lucas and Felicia, who are Jenna’s adopted parents.  Lucas isn’t really a member of the Dean Frame Fan Club, but he does want his daughter to be happy and thus lets Dean play a part in decorating the Christmas tree.  Afterward he takes her on a horse-drawn sleigh ride through the woods, where he has decorated a tree for just the two of them. The snow is falling, and the tree lights up.  It’s very romantic but I have no clue where he found an outlet in the forest.  Back at home, Lucas and Felicia share a candlelight dinner and toast to their love for each other.

At day’s end, various couples celebrate, and while Ada remarks that they might not be the Waltons, they did manage to pull off Christmas.  Rachel says that while her family may be imperfect, she wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Sadly, this marked Ada’s final appearance at Christmastime; Constance Ford was too ill to work after November 1992 and passed away in early 1993.  The character of Ada died that spring.  Throughout the episode, Christmas carols play in the background, including “Blue Christmas” by Elvis.  Obviously this episode is nearly twenty-five years old, but it harkens back to another time and place, when soaps had the budgets to create elaborate holiday celebrations and utilize music to tell a story.  I think we can all agree that, for whatever foibles may have crippled the show in its final years, our friends in Bay City are much-missed.  

Note:  All photos and captures and character background contained herein is the copyright of Proctor & Gamble Productions and the NBC network who originally aired the episode.

Ship of Dreams

Was there ever a more star-crossed pair of lovers in the history of Soapdom than Steven Earl “Patch” Johnson and Kayla Caroline Brady?  Over the course of five years, these two met crisis after crisis head-on, dealing with everything from rapes, murders, assaults, stabbings, jewel thefts, marriages, divorces, long-lost relatives, organ donations, adoption and pregnancy, even deafness.  And they did it all while earning legions of fans that followed the couple for decades, to other soaps and shows and projects and personal appearances.  Their long-awaited wedding sent Days of our Lives to number one in the Nielsen ratings back in 1988 for what would be the final time.  Their union and chemistry have proven unbreakable by long-distance separation, prison cells, kidnappings, and even death.

Initially presented as a villain, Patch was the one-time best friend of Kayla’s younger brother, Bo, who was responsible for the removal of Steve’s eye and thus the subject of a revenge plot that culminated in a wildly-popular remote sequence filmed in Miami.  This renegade and wildcard seemed the most unlikely romantic lead imaginable for Kayla, the sweet younger sister of Detective Roman Brady (initially Wayne Northrop, later Drake Hogestyn), a woman whose caring and compassion were perfectly suited to her career as a nurse.  While she was initially wary of the roguish young man who made his way to Salem, his charms and mullet ultimately proved too much for her to resist, and within a year of meeting they took off on one soapy adventure after another.  Their travels would take them to Stockholm in search of jewels, a journey that cemented the early stages of their romance.  But Steve was always getting himself

into one jam or another, and on the night they shared their first kiss, he was stabbed down at the Salem pier (a dark, dangerous place that seems to have been wiped from the show’s canvas).

By the time their wedding day arrived, S&K had dealt with all manner of delicious soapy complications:  the arrival of his long-lost sister Adrienne and parents Duke and Jo Johnson (not exactly Ward and June Cleaver); the arrival of Senator Harper Deveraux, his wretched wife Angelica, and son Jack (née Billy Johnson), who would soon form side three of the Steve-Kayla love triangle; Steve being hired to shoot Harper, only to be betrayed and having to go on the run with Kayla, Adrienne, and Justin Kiriakis (a storyline worth its own blog); Kayla marrying Jack and being poisoned by Harper; and Kayla being attacked by the Riverfront Knifer and coming down with a case of hysterical deafness, inspiring Steve to learn sign-language in an incredibly poignant story so that he could communicate with his Sweetness.  Along the way there was a lab

explosion, rape, murder, mayhem, a trip to Greece, resolved sexual tension, Victor Kiriakis, Shane and Kimberly, and adultery, along with some incredibly huge, permed 80s hair.  The ever-beautiful Genie Francis as Dr. Diana Colville and Michael T. Weiss’s Dr. Mike Horton were there for the fun too, along with Steve’s childhood pal Dr. Marcus Hunter, played by the late Richard Biggs.

Allow me to set the stage for the day of the wedding:  an old friend of Steve’s from his merchant marine days loaned a yacht for the ceremony, which took place on the Salem waterfront.  And as any soap fan knows, the waterfront always looks much nicer when you see a real blue sky as opposed to a dank, dreary set.  The groom’s attendants included Kayla’s brothers Frankie and Roman, Kayla’s brother-in-law Shane Donovan, Steve’s best friend Marcus, and a very young Max Brady as the ring bearer.  Attending the bride were her sister Kimberly, Steve’s sister Adrienne, Kayla’s former roommate Dr. Diana Colville, and her niece Carrie Brady as the flower girl.  The ship, beautifully decked out with flowers, was a manifestation of Kayla’s dream wedding, and recalled a ceremony she had witnessed as a girl in the harbor near Brady’s Fresh Fish.  The morning of the wedding, Steve watched from afar as his Sweetness utilized sign language to declare her love for both him and the beautiful decorations.  After she departs, Steve comes onto the deck of the boat and thanks God for his good fortune at finding a woman to love him and provide his life with meaning. 

As preparations continue, Steve’s brother-in-law Justin Kiriakis drops by to wish him well, while Calliope tries to enhance Kayla’s makeup.  Kayla is gifted with her mother’s veil to wear for the ceremony.  Everyone has departed the dressing room when Jack arrives.  Kayla indicates to him that while she is unable to talk, she can hear the words spoken by others.  He apologizes for Harper’s attack on her, and recalls their own marriage, but she is less than accepting of his platitudes and contrition.  Jack tells Kayla he realizes that she’s the one thing he can never have.  He seems to be in denial of the fact that she is marrying his brother, even questioning it, but thankfully he departs without inflicting any further harm on his ex-wife.  In the groom’s quarters, Jo tells Steve that she is proud of him; I just wish she would have shown it more often, as Mama Johnson seemed prone to blaming her first-born for everything short of the Holocaust. 

On deck, we get to glimpse the beloved Dr. Tom and Alice Horton, as well as their granddaughter Jennifer.  Soon Mickey and Maggie and their daughter Melissa arrive.  Kayla thanks Kimberly for giving her the gift of communication, and tells her that no matter what happens with her voice, she and Steve can communicate their love through emotions far deeper than just words.

The wedding procession begins, with the mother of the groom escorted by Dr. Neil Curtis, and the mother of the bride escorted by Frankie.  Since it was 1988, the wedding march was replete with saxophone.  Kayla was escorted by her father, Shawn. 

“There never was a more beautiful bride” he expounds.  “Take care of her, son.”

“I will,” Steve replies enthusiastically.

Before the actual vows take place, we are treated to the musical stylings of Eddie Maine—er, Justin.  Wally Kurth has a nice voice, which he would later put to good use on General Hospital.  During the song, we get to see an assortment of flashbacks from Steve and Kayla’s love story.  The officiant has known Steve since his days as a merchant marine, and recounts how Kayla has brought about dramatic change within his friend.  Steve speaks his vows, then Kimberly vocalizes while Kayla signs hers in return.  As she stands there, seeing love written all over her groom’s face, Kayla regains the ability to verbalize and speaks the remaining vows herself.  Rings are exchanged, as well as self-written vows.  The vows were remarkably heartfelt and romantic—the writers of these episodes are to be commended.  The Johnsons are declared husband and wife, presented to everyone, and Angel Steve—the one with two good eyes—exchanges a thumbs-up with the ecstatic groom before vanishing.  A jealous Jack watched from a hidden spot atop the boat, glowering as his brother married the woman each man had coveted.  Afterward he confesses to Melissa that his entire life is falling apart, and she provides a modicum of comfort despite her misgivings at his sudden, uninvited appearance.

At the reception, Steve and Kayla are greeted by their guests and share their first dance as a married couple.  The couple had several songs throughout the course of their romance—“The Rose”, “The Lady in Red”, “The Woman in Me”—but for this scene their specially-written theme, “If Your Heart Comes out Tonight”, was played.  Marcus toasted the couple, as did Roman; he also read a telegram sent by Bo and Hope, who at that time were still sailing around the world with infant Shawn-Douglas.  As darkness fell, the couples danced to the strains of “When I Fall in Love”.  The bride and groom then carved the cake and fed pieces to each other.  The bouquet was caught by Diana, while Roman captured the garter.  Sadly, their marriage was not to be; Genie Francis departed the following year for contractual reasons, and Roman’s romantic story shifted toward Isabella.  Their pairing proved quite popular in its own right, though.  The reception ended when Steve and Kayla sailed away on a Venetian gondola, sharing their wedding night as romantically as the bride had dreamed it would be.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the presence of Abe Carver, Eve Donovan, Emilio Ramirez, and his sister, April, at the wedding.  The couple also had some special guests—a man whom Steve assisted with various personal problems, as well as some deaf children Kayla had befriended during her recovery.  It appeared as though, in stark contrast to today’s barren soap weddings, that nearly the entire cast was on hand for the wedding, and in the background NBC seemed to have allowed some incredibly lucky fans to watch the festivities.  Taken as a whole, it is easy to see why this couple’s fans remain devoted, even though more than three decades have passed since they first appeared on our screens.

                          Photo:  NBC Daytime/Sony

                         Photo:  NBC Daytime/Sony

Soap Roundup: April Fool’s Week 2014

I’ve been too lazy to dig through my assortment of recorded episodes and do any sort of write up about them, so in lieu of that I’ve decided to speak as well as I can about what is currently on-air for the soap fan—provided they are willing to keep a very open mind.

General Hospital

I heaped praise upon GH weeks ago in this very blog, which was apparently the kiss of the death.  The show has recently gone off a cliff, devoting weeks and weeks to Sonny whining and moaning about AJ before the Quartermaine was unfortunately killed off the show, coinciding with Sean Kanan’s departure and defection back to The Brooke and The Boring.  AJ’s resurrection started out with much promise, but things turned pear-shaped when Tracey took over ELQ and ousted he, Duke, and Michael from the company.  All three characters suffered from a lack of story momentum, and I don’t think we’ve even seen Tracey visit the office since then.  AJ spent the next several months staggering around town drinking, being accused of Connie’s murder and vanishing for at least a month.  His nicely-developedromance with Liz was quashed without much thought.  AJ’s death was integrated into the show’s 51^st anniversary, an episode that featured a nice performance from Leslie Charleson while reminding us yet again that Monica’s family has been decimated; she has lost her husband and all three children, and the only other inhabitants of her home are Tracey and the increasingly-grotesque Luke (and he didn’t have far to go in that respect).  But the worst part of this all may be that Sonny has finally won:  after years of he, Carly, and Jason trying to sever AJ’s tie to his biological son, the die has been cast.  Quite frankly, Michael’s best moments over the past year and a half have been with AJ; when paired up with Napolean Mobster and Freaky KiKi, Chad Duell seems stuck in aspic.  C’est triste.  We have also had some uneven storytelling due to Robin’s departure, which was a major letdown.  I’m going to agree with another column I read—either recast her or “kill” her again, because having her play Super Doc to cure a bunch of sociopaths and murderers seems like a waste of a character who has been off and on the show since I was an infant.  This storyline has also resulted in much confusion over what to do with Patrick and Sabrina; the former performed AJ’s surgery, while the latter has all but vanished from the canvas.

Now for the good, however:  the reveal of Baby Ben’s true parentage at Nik and Britt’s engagement party was classic high-drama, trapping everyone on an island and creating a “bottle” scenario for truths to come to life and emotions to explode.  I hadn’t seen it so well done since Caroline revealed Parker’s paternity at his christening on “Days of our Lives” (and his paternity has been switched so many times that they’ll never know who the kid is).  Nik let Britt have it and tossed her from Spoon Island, but not before he ripped into Liz.  He later came by to apologize, so a point in his favor.  It will be interesting to see where Britt goes from here; she was already an outcast in Port Charles, but Nikolas loved her in spite of her shortcomings, both of them bonding over family psychoses.  Now she and Brad have reunited as friends—will they continue to be partners-in-crime or is redemption in the cards for these two?  Port Charles certainly has more than its fair share of villains running around these days, and you damned near need to wear a Kevlar vest any time you’re in the same room with Ava Jerome.  Still, I remain steadfast in my desire for some balance.  Have Michael bond with Monica now, and take his place in the Quartermaine mansion.  Bring Danny around, too.  Where is that kid, by the way?  He must have an on-call babysitter.

A final request:  give Bobbie a storyline.  Put her with Scotty if necessary.  I don’t care.  If Jacklyn Zeman is willing to do it, give her something to do.

The Bold and the Beautiful

Everyone is upset that Ridge and Katie, two single, divorced individuals, hooked up.  I guess it’s terribly sanctimonious in Forrester-land to have sex without infidelity or being a home wrecker (all eyes on you, Brooke).  But if you’ve watched this show for longer than five minutes, you know that Ridge and Brooke will eventually reconcile no matter who they have to hurt in the process.  But in other news, Oliver has been released from the basement and is having scenes with people other than nameless models.  Has anyone ever existed on a soap for so long without having a storyline?  I don’t mean wisecracking nurses and such, I mean someone who started out with genuine front-burner stories only to fade into the Daddy Yankee-induced background.  I feel sorry for Zack Conroy, though at least he still gets a paycheck.  He was such a dynamic young actor on Guiding Light, a show that was dying—a show that was dead!  It had a toe tag on it, and he was giving it his all.  But like so many before him, his vitality was zapped by Brad Bell’s loss of interest.  Even “The Young and the Restless” gave him screen time last year, in a somewhat-random crossover. What, there are no photographers in Genoa City?  Malcolm Winters, you are much missed.

So Eric has put Brooke back in the structure at Forrester Creations.  We all know that Brooke has done every position at FC—just every position—and now Eric is favoring her and Rick over Ridge.  Oh well.  I wonder if Thorsten Kaye and Jacob Young are bemused by working together in both Pine Valley and Los Angeles?  Rick accuses Ridge of throwing a hissy fit.  Well, he would be the expert.  Rick has to leave because he apparently can’t handle Aunt Katie and Brother/Step-Father Ridge kissing. Weird.

To Guiding Light land!  Oliver and Maya are talking about his being fired and Aly walks in.  Uh-oh, don’t be fooled by that smile, Ollie.  Girl is a psycho.  I’m still not sure how Aly is supposed to slot into the corporate structure.  To hear her talk, she is the COO or something, and Eric’s go-to in all personnel decisions.  Ollie asks Aly to go out with him.  Run, Ollie, run!  Back to Springfield if you can.  Aly declines because she has to feed her goldfish.  Oh, my God; they might as well have had her say she had to go home and wash her hair.  Then Ollie tells her the goldfish will be fine, and she relents.  I predict yet another addition to the long, long list of characters on this show with sexual hang-ups (Jake McLaine, James Warwick, Pamela Douglas, and even Hopeless Logan herself).

Eric is conspiring to reunite Ridge and Brooke.  Oh, my God, Eric, just marry her yourself and get it over with!  This matchmaking thing is creepy, and Stephanie would haunt you forever if your plan worked.  I’m fascinated by how Eric seems appalled by Ridge and Katie.  Didn’t he marry her other sister?  Gag.  Now Eric wants Ridge and Brooke to be the face of Forrester Creations, at least until Baby Rick and Anorexoline take over someday.  Still not sure why those two were paired up and married off.  Now Ridge is trying to get Eric to put him back in charge of FC.  Did I mention that I miss Stephanie?  This show is random without her to guide it.  Well, at least Thorsten Kaye and John McCook seem more age-appropriate as father and son.  Regardless of Massimo.  Also, it’s more than a little kinky that Eric is trying to blackmail Ridge with Brooke.  I wanna cringe, but I shouldn’t be surprised. 

Poor Carter and Maya.  Do these two have anything to do but sit around and stare into each other’s eyes?  Ollie and Aly arrive at the restaurant (aww, how cute—even their names rhyme!) and it looks like he wants some of that.  He might as well—this is the most story Oliver has had in years.  Oh, dear.  I am seeing shades of Kyle and Summer here.  Apparently Carter is friends with Ridge.  This is so odd.

Brooke and Katie.  “I hear you have a new position.”  Nah, Katie, Brooke has done them all.  LOL.  I wonder if they would ever actually let Katie win in a fight versus Brooke.  You can tell they’ve been pushing the Ridge/Katie pairing in the press, but I don’t know how long they’ll run with it.  “So am I supposed to be Taylor in this situation?”  Go, Katie!  Smack her head!  Bite her!  Okay, the catfight was in my imagination.  At least they’ve given Katie a backbone.

“You’re staring.”  Geez, Carter, what else does Maia have to do but stare at the other stories happening around her?  Ollie spills tea on Aly.  And then kisses her hand.  Very smooth.

“Ridge, it’s a PR nightmare.”  Seriously, Eric, how many times have you been caught with your pants down?  Ah, here we go:  Eric doesn’t want Brooke with Bill.  Is he afraid Dollar Bill will try to take over?  Ding ding ding!  Eric tells Ridge if he gets back in Brooke’s bed, he’ll give him the CEO job.  Jeez, how does a man compete with that?  Drama-free love versus sex on the desk?  I’d rather see Ridge and Taylor.  But that’s just me.  Eric really isn’t setting a good example of manhood and integrity for either of his sons.  Then again, I guess that is nothing new.

The good news is that Hunter Tylo will be reprising her role of Taylor beginning April 25^th and continuing through May.  I’m sure she will be used as a prop for other characters and storylines, but I will take what I can get at this point.  I doubt I’ll be tuning in again until she returns—aside from the New Ridge, the show remains cluttered by too many young hair models.

The Young and the Restless

Once the gold standard of the soap opera world, this show has fallen on hard times in the years following Bill Bell’s death.  I gave up watching as soon as Conor was fitted with Delia’s retinas/corneas/irises/bone marrow, having been disgusted by the senseless murder of a young child and legacy character.  I only returned long enough to see Billy and Adam depart, though Billy was un-recast days later.  The few snippets I’ve seen over the past two months have done nothing to inspire me.  Victoria and Stitch?  Yawn.  Dylan and Avery?  Tie them up in her apartment and turn on the gas.  At least we are in the midst of a Shick redux:  yes, readers, Nick and Sharon have found their way back into each other’s pants, if not hearts, in time for their twentieth anniversary.  I was watching in those long-ago days when Nick came home from Switzerland and Sharon had three different faces across one torrid Wisconsin summer.  I’ve been asked to write a Shick-themed blog at some point, and will do so.

My gentle thoughts on April 4, 2014, an episode with little to recommend it.

Those damned establishing shots.  This isn’t DALLAS—what’s with all the skyscrapers and houses before a scene can even begin?

Abby and Tyler are engaged. Honestly, who cares?  They’re like Ken and Barbie, only less lifelike.  I’m sure Melissa Ordway is a lovely person, but she doesn’t fit into this show.  At all.

Poor Stitch.  Sean Carrigan is the most interesting addition to this show during the Phelps regime, and he’s saddled to Dullan McStupid and Victoria.  Yawn.  Yawn.  Where’s my No-Doze?

An establishing shot of the police station? Well, at least Paul is onscreen.  Kevin and Chloe remarried?  Again, who is writing this show?  They were a dreadful couple from day one, and it’s little wonder she’s planning to depart the show.  Killing Delia and eliminating the Upstairs/Downstairs nature of Chloe’s relationships with Billy, Chance, and Ronan exterminated her story for good. Oh, God, here’s Victor coming along to threaten everyone into submission.  Hilarious that this show had the nerve to do an anti-bullying storyline with the Black Knight running around yelling at everyone in Genoa City.  The irony is thick in here.

Chelsea and Chloe at Crimson Lights.  Moving on. Quickly.  Remember when it was possible to write a soap heroine without mental illness creeping into the picture?  Chloe is looking rough.  How sad.  Now she and Chelsea are arguing about their fashion line.  “You think I’m psycho!”

Praise God for Peter Bergman.  Without question, he is the best actor left working in daytime.  I still can’t quite cope with the Billy recast.  It’s like Jack is talking to a stranger, even if David Tom did play that role years upon years ago.

Back to Vicky and Abby.  Blech.  At least the segments seem shorter and the commercial breaks longer.  Am I the only person who misses Tucker and Ashley?  Another couple gone over the dam, and another bridge burned.

Back to Dullan and Stitch.  Wouldn’t be funny if Stitch had a girlfriend named Lilo?  I guess Dullan wants to know if Stitch boned his half-sister.  Kinky.

I like that Billy is applying for a job at Jabot.  Abbotts should always work at Jabot.  Taking them out of the family company and having them run, um, restaurants, is just goofy.  Killing off Delia was such a huge error in judgment.  Even if soaps don’t survive another ten years, think about all of the potential stories we have lost—the kid developing a personality of her own, possibly being a pawn in the never-ending Chloe-Billy battle; the potential was endless for Cordelia Valentine Abbott.  And she was the grandchild of John and Jill Abbott!  It doesn’t get much better than that.  Meanwhile Jack hires Billy for Phyllis’ old job, and William says he will give it back when she comes back.  Yeah, let’s hope that never happens.  Pull the plug on Red, please.  And here comes Abby to ruin the Jack/Billy scene.  Great.  She informs Billy that Stitch and Vicky have been hanging out.  Smooth, you dumb cow.  Now your uncle/brother-in-law is upset again.  I never thought I would say this, but I miss Emme Rylan as Abby.  She was smart to head for a contract role at GH, though.  And now Jack tells Abby to hold her tongue around Billy.  Thank God—someone needed to muzzle her.  Now if it could just be done permanently.

Victor shouldn’t talk to Paul about dead sons.  Ever. 

Flashback to Victor and Chelsea.  Remember when he hated on her, after hiring her to break up Billy and Victoria’s marriage?  Now she’s the mother of his grandson, and Victor burns through kids like fire through dry wood, so I guess he kinda has to suck up to Chelsea.

Wait a minute, Jason Quartermaine and Stitch are playing basketball outdoors, in Wisconsin, in April?  I think it’s still snowing up there.  Lord, there’s Victoria running, too, and smiling at Stitch.  Ick.  Their flirting/conversation in the park is so hopelessly stilted.  Billy shows up in his business suit and dispatches with Doctor Feelgood.  Billy and Victoria talk about Stitch and their faltering marriage and I honestly can’t be bothered to care.  Because too much has happened, too many junk storylines, to care about Villy ever again.

Chelsea and Chloe continue to argue, and Kevin shows up to intervene.  I can’t believe Jason Morgan didn’t jump in.  Maybe he went to get ABC a new cupcake recipe.  Never mind, there’s Jason Q, standing at sentry.  Instead of standing around jawing, why don’t they get Chloe some therapy and anti-anxiety meds?  Dylan realizes he has better things to do and departs.  Monotone, monotone, monotone.  Kevin drags Chloe away. 

Apparently Victor is looking for Adam.  Remember when he did everything BUT run his son out of town?  Victor tells Chelsea a body was found, and that the dental records belong to Adam.  Of course, Adam previously faked his death with bone marrow.  Having his teeth pulled and dumped onto a corpse would be no challenge for him.  Chelsea is visibly upset to now be a widow.  Don’t go getting remarried, darlin’—that’s always the surest sign your beloved will come back.

“Being in the dark has its advantages.”  Truer words have seldom been spoken, Jack.

Wait a minute, Abby is talking about someone being a “home wrecker”?  Step aside, Gossip Girl.  Go paint your nails or something.

Back to Stitch and Dylan.  That was a quick run, Dr. Rayburn.  Continuity is not this show’s strong suit anymore.

Kevin and Chloe.  Zzzzzz.  I do feel sorry for Chloe, though.  Her storyline was forever terminated when her child was killed.  No matter what they do or don’t do in the future, things can never be the same now.

Mysterious guy in room, giving mysterious guy an envelope of money.  Adam, of course.  Unless it’s Skye come back from the volcano.

I definitely won’t be watching Monday.  Avery’s cooking show?  That gal from “Lost” screaming at Dylan?  That looks like a hot mess if I’ve ever seen one.  Sorry, Y&R, you’re gonna need some serious improvement in order to make me a regular viewer again.  Maybe a Shick wedding.  But weddings are always broken up by back-from-the-dead lovers or totally random revelations, so I won’t hold my breath.

I also watch “Days of our Lives”, and have since I was a young cowboy, but haven’t watched a full episode this week.  I’ll try to give it its own blog in due time.  And as we head closer to May Sweeps, I’m really hoping some or all of the soaps will give the viewers a reason to tune in, because those reasons are few and far between these days.

   

The Bold and the Beautiful: Taylor Comes Home

When Taylor fled Eric’s bedroom last July in the fallout of her revealing Brooke’s miscarriage, my long relationship with The Bold and the Beautiful ended.  I check in every now and then, and the Internet makes it very easy to keep up with the plots of all the soaps remaining on air.  B&B has only had one or two plots the past few years, which also helps.  Stop watching for six months and you won’t miss a thing.

Currently Thorne’s daughter with Darla (RIP) appears to have come down with a case of Soap Psycho Syndrome.  Apparently she has some past claim or misguided obsession with Max Brady—er, Wyatt Fuller—who is Hope’s boyfriend of the current five minutes.

Blessing of soap blessings—Taylor enters Eric’s office looking lovely as ever.  Apparently she is still seeing patients but has fled to Paris to be closer to Thomas and Steffy.  There is also a bit of reminiscing about Stephanie and some discussion that Ridge #2 has reunited with Brooke.  It would have been better to see her with the new Ridge in this episode, but I suppose we can’t have everything.

Back in Paris, Ally is in full-on psycho mode, telling Wyatt to get his grimy hands off Hopeless.  Run, Max, don’t walk, back to Salem! Stock footage of Paris, then Thorne and Brooke enter the room.  Oh, hey, there’s Thomas.  Presumably this is the first time Thomas and Ally have seen each other since before they both caught SORAS.  Max Brady has decided to market a collection of Stephanie’s jewelry.  Ally looks irritated.

Eric and Taylor discuss Ally.  Of course Young Hopeless was the one who spilled the beans to Young Ally about Taylor accidentally killing Darla, so maybe she should have issues with Hope rather than her current BF.  Hmm, Hope seems to be having trouble keeping a straight face.  Well, Darin Brooks is a funny guy.  Wyatt wants to sell jewelry and everyone agrees, although Ally freaks out again.  Sigh.  Thorne and Thomas work to reassure Ally that the jewelry collection will honor Stephanie, but Ally is spouting that old gibberish about Hope having morals, principles, and values.  Didn’t she shack up with a married man? 

Praise God, back to Taylor and Eric.  Flashbacks to Taylor, Thorne, and Young Ally, back when this show actually still made a modicum of sense.  Well, there we have the scene where Ally destroyed Taylor’s wedding dress.  On this show, though, the closets should be full of dresses.  A Forrester closet must be even better than a bridal boutique.

Hope tells Wyatt that Ally seems to hate him.  Hope is turned on by Wyatt.  Blah, blah, blah.  She leaves Max Brady—um, Wyatt—and Ally comes in and gives him the stink eye.  Apparently Ally wanted Hope to marry Liam—didn’t they do that in Italy two years ago?—and feels that Hopeless has compromised her “values”.  God, no wonder I gave up this show so easily.

Hope talks to Brooke and Thorne about Ally and they discuss much she used to look up to Hope.  Her “message” was super important. Lord.  Back to Ally and Wyatt, where Ally is blathering on about Liam’s better qualities.  Must be watching a different show than me, sweetheart.  Wyatt tells Ally that he and Hope are now members of the Mile High Club and she slaps him and fires him from Forrester Creations.  WTF?  Who gave this child Human Resources power?  I didn’t know she’d taken over for Eric.

Fade to black.  That’s it?  No more Eric and Taylor?  Lame.  Looks like I’m back to not watching, unless Taylor comes back for a repeat business.  Permanently would be better, though.   

                                                     Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

  

General Hospital Turns Thirteen (Thousand)

When 2013 began, my daily television diet consisted of The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, and the same-day rerun of Days of our Lives courtesy of SoapNet. By the end of the year, I had picked up General Hospital and dumped the other three, though I did watch several episodes of Days just before SoapNet (RIP) went dark.  What happened, you may wonder?  GH was the only soap that was any fun to watch.  Y&R began to lose core cast members like rats fleeing a sinking ship, while adding so many new characters and recasting others that my mute button got a serious workout.  B&B senselessly killed off Steffy and Liam’s baby and wrote out Hunter Tylo in order to shove yet another Hope-centric triangle down our throats.  And Days, while well-written, has too much Sami and EJ for my taste.  If you’re a fan of their pairing, bully for you.  The only DiMera I like is Lexie, and she’s currently not acting outside the Salem Cemetery.

Let me get the fan boy routine out of the way before I begin:  I love Genie Francis.  Loved her as Laura, loved her as Diana Colville, and loved her as Genevieve Atkinson.  I would follow her to the gates of Soap Hell and back.  My main impetus for returning to GH, a show I had watched in the glory days of 1994 and 1995, was the return of Laura Spencer.  While Laura’s return was ultimately something of a disappointment—she was gone by Thanksgiving—there was something nice about seeing her back in Port Charles again, going on another fool adventure with Luke and battling the Cassadines like the good old days (which occurred before I was born).  General Hospital also celebrated its fiftieth anniversary with a two-day marathon on SoapNet, which aired episodes from the very beginning.  To finally see Luke and Laura’s wedding, and the first meeting and wedding of Frisco and Felicia, and to revisit young Brenda, Jax, Jason, AJ, Ned, Lois, Jagger, and Miguel—not to mention Bobbie and Tony—was a real treat.  I only wish I’d been able to record the entire thing and save it for posterity.  Soaps used to be about romance, adventure, heartaches, healing, and overcoming challenges.  Nowadays they are more often than not about heartache and suffering, with little happiness and even less romance.

The reason GH remains on my viewing schedule throughout its fiftieth season is the skillful way the writers balance the tone of their storylines.  While Dante and Lulu were devastated over losing their baby in a custody battle, elsewhere in Port Charles Robin was being reunited with her loved ones.  The circumstances surrounding Connie’s death have played out a mystery for months (though most viewers undoubtedly know that “AJ” stood for “Ava Jerome”, right?)  The show isn’t perfect, of course—not every storyline works, but enough of them do to matter.  A perfect example can be found in the two episodes of Y&R that CBS aired last Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day; both were from 1998 and featured characters such as Katherine (how we miss thee) and Jill, Brad and Jack, Ryan, Victor and Nikki (in saner days), Nick and Sharon (our beloved Shick) and were masterworks of pacing and drama.  But said episodes also featured Jennifer Gareis.  You win some, you lose some.

GH’s anniversary coincided with a revival of the Nurse’s Ball, a 90’s staple that had been tossed onto the trash heap when the show decided to venture into much-too-dark-for-daytime territory.  Viewers got to see Frisco, Bobbie, Brenda, Jax, and Noah Drake return to the canvas briefly, along with the presumed-dead Stavros Cassadine.  Bobbie is still in town visiting, and Felicia and Mac were reunited in marriage.  Nikolas, Lucy, Kevin, and Scotty have also taken up permanent residence in town once again.  Robert sadly came and went, but Anna and Duke are here for the long haul.  To see old friends and new ones interact is what soap opera is all about—multigenerational storytelling that is shared through families and loved ones, passed down from others to us.  Many of those with whom I watched soaps in my formative years passed on a long time ago.  Even lapsed soap fans felt a piece of their life ripped away from them when the Guiding Light was dimmed and As the World Turns stopped.  I still think Days of our Lives is one of the best ever at fully integrating its cast—Maggie Horton and Caroline Brady are tentpoles and beacons for their family and friends, much in the way Dr. Tom and Alice Horton were for much of the show’s first thirty years.  Alice remained an important figure through 2007, and the Hortons are still, in my mind, one of the quintessential soap families.  While GH has sadly said goodbye to the elder Quartermaines Edward and Lila, I wish there could be more interaction between Monica and her grandchildren, Michael and Danny.  While Danny may not be a blood relation, Monica’s connection to Jason is unbreakable even by death.

But I’ve gone off on a tangent.  We’re here to talk about GH’s 13,000 episode.  Now that’s an accomplishment.  We begin our day at the MetroCourt, where Sonny has moved his “coffee importing business” to Connie’s old office.

Sean begins to thell Sonny who has been bankrolling the Jeromes.  My suspicion is that it’s Ric Lansing.  It helps that I’ve been following Rick Heart on Facebook for several years now, so if my guess is wrong, I’ll just blame him!  But these things must be drawn out for at least forty minutes, and I can see that even Sonny is growing frustrated.  Sean mentions something about dummy corporations and Sonny immediately blames the Quartermaines.  Then Sean mentions Barrett Enterprises which is meaningless to me.  We learn that Brenda inherited this corporation and it was apparently run by her sister.  I only remember the highpoints of Brenda and her love stories, but not her backstory.  Sean then tries to convince Sonny to call Brenda, and we go through a brief sojourn back to the Nurse’s Ball last year.   After a brief chat with his soul mate, Sonny tells Sean that majority interest in the corporation has been sold.  But we don’t know to whom!  Stay tuned…

Alexis and Julian play with Danny.  Despite their sordid history—or perhaps because of it—these two have a palpable chemistry, and share an obvious mutual attraction.  Still, Alexis’s reluctance is understandable—the revelation that Sam is Julian’s daughter meant that all three of her children were the spawn of mob kingpins.  Love in Port Charles only seems to run in one direction.  Julian tries to leave, but he and Alexis are magnetized to each other.  Kissing ensues.  Before Alexis can rip Julian’s all-black outfit from his well-defined body, a knock comes at the door.  Rafe alert!  Rafe alert!  Looks like he’s going to c*ckblock two relationships tonight.  Anyway, they leave Rafe to look after Danny while they flee toward the hotel in search of Molly’s chastity.  Poor Daniel Edward Morgan—he’s being tossed from sitter to sitter while Sam and Si take their show on the road.  Fast forward to the end of the episode, where there’s a knock at the door.  Hey, there’s Ric Lansing!  I nearly freaked out.  Nice to see you back on daytime, Mr. Hearst.

Elsewhere Ava meets with Carlos.  With Ava and Julian on the outs due to her relationship with Morgan, Ava is trying to surmise who is backing their organization.  She doesn’t know who the money man is?  Interesting.  Ava and Julian work together for the “greater good”, but they clearly don’t work together very well.  Interesting family dynamic going on between those two.

AJ hangs out in the cemetery, drinking himself into oblivion.  His imbibing conjures Connie’s ghost/aura/spirit/image/apparition.  The Connie rendered by AJ’s subconscious is actually a bit more fun than the late, lamented Real Thing.  She was a perfectly enjoyable character, but DID has a limited shelf life on soap unless Erika Slezak is playing the role.  But I’m just happy to see Sean Kanan on the screen, which hasn’t been the norm over the past several months.  Storylines cross paths when AJ stumbles from the cemetery to the Floating Rib, where he begins to interrogate Ava.  Carlos tries to remove AJ from the vicinity, but Ava defuses the situation.  Then she tells AJ he reeks of vodka.  Oops.  AJ keeps trying to get at the truth about Connie’s murder, while Ava threatens to tell Michael what she saw on the surveillance tapes.  The footage she conveniently destroyed, of course.  Ava is a femme fatale, people—they can’t be trusted with the truth!  AJ gets aggressive and Carlos drags him outside. When Carlos returns to the table, the truth emerges:  a convenient trip into Ava’s mind shows that after AJ stumbled out of the Crimson Publishing offices, Connie was still alive and well.  Hmm.

Michael and Kiki.  Can I just say that “Kiki” is the Worst Soap Name ever?  Either of her given names, “Lauren” and “Katherine”, would be preferable.  But names don’t even matter in this case, because these two just don’t have it.  The actors may have it, but the characters are dramatic dead weight when blissfully happy.  The drama involving Kiki, Franco, John McBain—er, Silas—is the only interesting thing to happen to this duo in MONTHS.  Michael wants Starr—er, Kiki—to apologize.  She’s too busy babysitting Rafe, though, so she’s not going home with Michael tonight.  You win some, you lose some, buddy.

Another bout of Molly/TJ/Rafe has broken out.  Molly and TJ don’t really work for me, in the same way that young soap love so rarely works these days.  I haven’t seen a teen pairing on soap in the past ten years that worked.  I suppose it would be hard to recapture a Holden/Lily, or Nick/Sharon, or Philip/Beth story nowadays.  Anyway, the young lovers have checked into the MetroCourt and been given a sermon by Olivia on how to be safe.  I’ve determined that there is no such thing as safe sex on a soap opera.  Even abstinence doesn’t seem one-hundred-percent effective.  They dine on room service.  I don’t know what Molly was drinking, but surely Olivia didn’t send up wine?  Maybe it was sparkling soda.  Afterward Molly and TJ change into their sex clothes.  Don’t get your hopes up, kids.  They are under the covers but still dressed when there’s a knock at the door.  Hey, there’s Alexis and Julian!  And Alexis is giving The Look.

Patrick and Robin drama.  Robin’s return to the show was one of the top soap moments on 2013—maybe the top moment—but the storyline has been somewhat marred by external factors.  Obviously Kimberly McCullough has her own ambitions outside the show and didn’t have to return at all, but chose to give the fans some closure.  And, I mean, she’s been on this show since she was a child.  They couldn’t very well kill Robin.  The storyline is a bit like overcooked spaghetti buried under amazing sauce, or hot fudge dumped atop freezer-burned ice cream.  Everyone’s initial joy was quickly tempered by Sabrina’s pregnancy announcement, Patrick waffling between the two women, and Robin’s decision less than three months later to flee Port Charles to cure Jason.  Are they planning to recast Jason?  I’m sure there are several men out there who could fill the part—I’d put my money on Timothy Adams if he wasn’t New York-based—but fans are often the biggest obstacle in the recast game. Robin tells Patrick she wants one last night together, but Patrick is feeling a different kind of anxiety.  Having to grieve for his wife once, now twice, is doing a number on his psyche.  Finally Patrick submits to his desires and takes Robin to bed.  I hope Rafe doesn’t show up there, too, because then no one would get loved in this episode.  Alas, it goes off without a hitch.  Let the music play, let the clothes come off.  After the love scenes, Robin tells Patrick she will return to him someday, and they will be together again.  Bittersweet, but hopeful.

All in all, a decent episode if not celebratory in an outward way.  It’s clear that there are enough interesting storylines designed to carry the show forward into its fifty-first year, though if Ava keeps shooting people the hospital is going to be overrun with casualties, and I’m not sure Dr. Patrick Drake can be everywhere at once.  Now if they could just bring Laura home again, things would be perfect.  And maybe Stefan Cassadine…

                                                                     Credit:  ABC

The Many Weddings of Ridge and Taylor

I don't mean anything after Taylor's second Lazarus act, either--I'm speaking here of Ridge and Taylor's honest-to-goodness, no interruptions, "till death do us part" weddings.


Of all the soaps that have ever aired—and remain on the air—The Bold and the Beautiful was the one I watched the most consistently.  From 2008 until 2013, I watched daily, rarely missing an episode unless I was on vacation.  In graduate school the show aired while I was working or in class, but I would wait religiously for the day’s episode to be posted on CBS.com around six each evening.  I also watched the show as a toddler, during the last glory days of daytime soap, from its beginnings until 1993 or so.  I own two of the DVD sets and have watched countless hours and clips from the interim thanks to the wonders of YouTube and other internet sites.  I have a pretty good grasp of the show’s history.  I definitely miss when it contained an element of romance and the promise of fashion wars between Forrester Creations and either Spectra or Jackie M.  Over the years, particularly since 2006 or so, the show’s cast has been decimated.  It seemed like anyone who wasn’t related to Brooke by blood became expendable.  For an admitted fan of Stephanie and Taylor and any storyline where they might intersect, I found this less than appealing.  Things really began to nosedive with the retirement of Susan Flannery and the death of matriarch Stephanie Forrester. While resulting storylines were initially fine, things quickly became screwy with Eric putting Rick and Thomas in a fashion competition and Brooke bedding down with her brother-in-law, Bill.  The senseless murder of Steffy and Liam’s baby and Brooke’s absurd change-of-life pregnancy were more or less the final straw for me; when Hunter Tylo was randomly taken off contract, B&B was taken of my viewing schedule.  The Young and the Restless followed several months later following years of poor writing and the death of Jeanne Cooper.  Ah, but I promised to talk about Ridge and Taylor.  Here we go…

The Brooke-Ridge-Taylor triangle occupies many viewers’ minds as the most prominent story in a show that has aired for not quite thirty years.  For all intents and purposes, the glory days of this storyline were 1990-1997.  When Ridge married Taylor in order to raise Thomas as a family—they later gave birth to twins Steffy and Phoebe—storylines changed and took Brooke into different orbits.   She never quite stopped sniffing around her “destiny” but he and Taylor remained married until her death in 2002—an eternity in soap time that only seems surpassed by Nick and Sharon’s ten-year marriage on Y&R (I’m excluding Tom and Alice Horton of Days and the Hughes of As the World Turns for the sake of brevity).  One of the more hilarious aspects of Brooke and Ridge’s marriages is that they never seem to be valid.  At least twice they married following Taylor’s death (1994 and 2002) and both marriages were nulled by Taylor’s resurrections.  Even subsequent efforts didn’t work out—Ridge left Brooke to raise Thomas, and Brooke dumped Ridge an innumerable number of times for Nick Marone, Ridge’s half-brother and her own daughter’s on-again off-again husband.  While Taylor “won” Ridge back in the 90s—he was never much of a prize but always seemed ten times smarter while married to Dr. Hayes—Hunter Tylo’s 2005 return to the show signaled a new era in which Brooke always won. Taylor was forced in alcoholism, making her a “lesser” choice; a parallel can be found in the Brooke-Thorne-Macy triangle as well.  Ridge and Taylor reconciliations post-2005 were always quickly undone in favor of Brooke; The Logan Queen couldn’t even handle Taylor’s marriage to Nick and tried to derail that at every turn.  In one of the more sickening storylines I can recall, Taylor was forced to give up her child with Nick (Jack Marone) because he was result of Brooke’s egg.  Countless children are adopted, fostered, and created via embryos in this country every year, and yet an intelligent doctor couldn’t “love” her own son and had to give him up?  Jack quickly vanished after feeble attempts by Nick’s subsequent women to “mother” him.  Even Nick is gone now.

In the glory days, though, things were good.  Ridge and Taylor’s first wedding in 1992 is one of the best I have ever seen.  Hunter Tylo was immaculately styled in wardrobe, hair, and makeup, and the ceremony was filmed on location at a real chapel as opposed to the living rooms where every other marriage seems to occur.  According to “The Bold and the Beautiful: A Tenth Anniversary Celebration”, this was done on a remote Pepperdine College.  This episode also seemed to bring out nearly every single cast member on the show in 1992—a visit to Spectra Fashions reveals Sally talking with Macy, Darla, Saul, and Clarke.  They just don’t make them like Darlene Conley anymore.

                                                   Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

Across town, Eric has hired Sheila Carter to babysit Rick.  Sheila is the absolute last person you should ever hire to do anything, but she livens things up.  Brooke is also nauseous and a visit to the doctor reveals she’s pregnant.  Of course she’s knocked up!  That’s what happens on any soap when you’ve been fooling around with two different partners.

                                                               Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

At the church, Stephanie shows concern and wonders where Brooke is.  While Stephanie and Brooke were mortal enemies, Brooke’s possible reconciliation with Ridge would have meant a potential reconciliation for her and Eric.  As it turned out, Eric moved on quickly…with Sheila.  But I am jumping ahead of myself.

                                                     Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

In the varying wedding scenes, Taylor looks truly stunning.  You can see that she is a woman who is blissfully happy and ready to spend a lifetime loving Ridge.

Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

Malibu Barbie—er, Brooke—drives like a crazy person to get to the church on time following her visit with the doctor.  However the wedding goes off without a hitch, and Brooke arrives at the chapel too late.  Suffer, cow, suffer.

Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

All in all, an excellent episode filled with mystery, suspense, and the requisite amount of romance.  The wedding also featured appearances by Ridge’s sisters Kristen and Felicia, Taylor’s father, brother, and ex-husband, Bill Spencer and his daughter Karen.  Only Margo and Jake seem to have been absent, and I believe both departed the show that same year.

Ridge and Taylor’s second wedding fast-forwards things to 1998 or so, the era of teenage Rick being “babysat” by Amber.  Oh, what great parents Eric and Brooke were.  Following the birth of Thomas and the revelation that he was the boy’s father, Ridge leaves Brooke for Taylor and his child.  Ridge and Taylor were reunited in marriage in what the characters tell us is apparently a night wedding.  Really?  I’ve heard of people being married at midnight on New Year’s Eve, but B&B seems to have a fascination with people getting married under cover of darkness.

Look, Stephanie and Duke Lavery—er, Dr James Warwick!

                                                     Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

Taylor’s father Jack Hamilton makes a return appearance at this wedding.  Other guests are Thorne (now played by Winsor Harmon), Eric and Lauren Fenmore, Macy and Grant Chambers, and of course baby Thomas.  Clarke escorts Brooke—dressed like a beekeeper—to the wedding, and tries to prevent Stephanie from discovering her there.  Ridge and Brooke remarry without incident, despite Brooke lifting her veil and capturing Ridge’s eye.  Following the ceremony, Brooke remains alone and teary-eyed in the chapel.  Finally she launches into one of those soliloquys that only soaps do, talking to the altar about how she plans to live her life to the fullest with or without Ridge.  Of course this will lead her into relationships with Thorne and her son-in-law Deacon, the latter of which will result in a child.  But for now Ridge and Taylor were happy, and soon after remarrying would conceive twins, Steffy and Phoebe.

Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

In the final wedding, Ridge and Taylor renew their vows in St. Thomas, where he first proposed marriage to her on a beautifully-done remote storyline in 1992.  This particular vow renewal was a reaffirmation of their marriage following Ridge’s bizarre impregnation of his high school girlfriend, Morgan DeWitt.  After the wedding Morgan kidnapped Steffy and the family was led to believe she had died.  When Taylor finally found Steffy, Morgan had draped her in a red wig.  Sarah Buxton was a great villain on “Sunset Beach”, but Brad Bell clearly had no clue what to do with her over the long run.  But for now, Ridge and Taylor’s honeymoon begins and ends with them having pizza and watching cartoons with their children.

                                                  Credit: CBS/Bell-Philip Television

    It’s a shame that Taylor isn’t currently on canvas now that Ridge had been recast with Thorsten Kaye.  I would be interested to see how they interact together or if they (hopefully) possessed some chemistry.  I was a huge fan of Taylor’s pairing with Whip Jones (Emmy-Award Winner Rick Heart, whose Alan-Michael Spaulding makes up some of my earliest soap memories) before he vanished into the recurring hinterland.   With apologies to Ronn Moss, Thorsten out-acts, out-classes and out-does him in pretty much every way, though Ronn’s Ridge was far more tolerable pre-2009, especially paired with his “Doc”.